For those of you who like to keep up, the last post was 73 days ago. Har.
| these posts were tagged " blog insecurities" (slug name: nobody_likes_me) i.e. the many times i feel like less than a speck on a map of the blogosphere :( |
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Tue: Sep 09 2008
"What Women Want… on their screens" I haven’t done this in a while. Creak creak. It’s also too late in the night for me to crank out a more thought-out post. I’m afraid it will have to be a quick link, with some brief thoughts.1 What Women Want [in games] (Leigh Alexander, GameSetWatch) : Interesting post and consequent discussion in the comments about why women “don’t like” big console games. I think the points on packaging and media representation are valid. Packaging, however one might like to think one is little affected by it2, can influence unconsciously. I certainly find myself unattracted to a game if the cover looks too ‘macho’… muscley men in army garb, flanked by busty women in tight clothes. (If the cover’s got a sports car anywhere on it, I avoid it whatever the people on the cover, if any, are wearing.) If it’s got guns and military vehicles on it, I won’t pick it up. Yes… It seems I judge a game by its cover. Cutesify it (Katamari) or make it look a little bit artsy (Okami) - and I will consider reading the description on the back. I do doubt that I will like the latest shooter or military mission out on 360 or PS3 or whatever, but I remember that I used to enjoy watching my cousins play GoldenEye 007 when I was younger… and it does seem like a shame that I would miss out on a great game because it’s marketed as a ‘genre’ I don’t think I enjoy. As for representation: I don’t watch enough TV or read women’s magazines to say with authority, but I certainly don’t have many recollections of seeing girls or women playing video games on TV, or articles about gaming in typical women’s mags. (I did notice the other day that the girl in Wizards of Waverly Place played a handheld console - suffice to say, she wasn’t the girly type.) It doesn’t have to be the hardcore girl gamer either - I can’t recall coming across, in my daily life, acknowledgement of casual gaming by PopCap moms (I personally know one, so these do exist!) or those with pink Nintendo DSes who raise virtual puppies. So what’s my next step? The next flash game I come across, that receives good reviews and remarks, I will take a moment to not judge it on the number of guns, explosions or dead bodies it contains… which is kind of hard, because I believe that violent games can desentisize the gamer’s feelings about violence. Amorphous+, though, contains no dead human bodies except your own. * * * As for the ‘direction’ of the blog… The other day I spent a few minutes reading random blogs, and I realised something. Blogs are unique (some people may beg to differ) because there’s a different person behind each one. Sure it’s easy to generalise - that age group will always write those kind of posts, people who like that kind of music have terrible writing - but again, like judging a game by its packaging, one can miss out on good prose or thoughtful writing that way. So I can’t be bothered sticking myself with a label. From the few comments on my last post, it seems my blog maintains its readership because of my writing, whatever crap I write. Yes they tend to be my friends, yes no one else comes here (except by accident, and then they forget about me), but what more do I really want? Can I really maintain a more regular blog, with journalistic articles? Can I really keep from revealing bits of myself through my posts? (Aren’t blogs interesting because of the type of person revealed through the writing? - Not that I am an interesting person. Not today, anyway.) Thanks for reading, and have a nice day.
1 - This post was later edited in the morning. But even if I’d posted it at its original time, it would have still looked more fleshed-out than I hinted at. 2 - There’s a nice study, whether you’d believe its implications or not, mentioned in the book Blink (Malcolm Gladwell) regarding our opinions of products with attractive packaging. |
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Fri: Jun 13 2008
"redesign needed, walking into walls" A sort of update and some personal thoughts regarding the blog. I have over a month left in the UK and my exams were over last week, which means I will spend this last month balancing leaving arrangements and doing as much slacking and bumming as I have longed to do when spending those afternoons and evenings struggling with revision. I am also quite keen on a website revamp, not just in terms of aesthetics (I have improved ever so slowly over the years in this respect) but in fulfilling its identity as a blog. I know, I know. Irregular updates. An extremely weak ‘blogroll’. A lazy, dismissive attitude towards the blogosphere. That’s me. Such are the conditions of maintaining a blog. I don’t have to follow the rules. But part of me kinda wants to. There’s also all the other stuff I want to clean up. Links, tags and categories, navigation. It’s terrible and is in great need of organisation. On the topic of website prettiness, I have had an idea of a layout for a couple of months, but now that I’ve had time to sit down and look over my drafts, I find I don’t like it at all. Cue some surfing over at Smashing Magazine for inspiration, and a look over my private archive of past layouts and drafts. I’m not feeling it. This may take a while. The other side of the coin is the type of posts I write, the ‘genre’ of blog I aim to create. Little direction here as well. I have certainly been attracted - which may have been evident for the past year - to the idea of writing themed articles rather than personal blog posts, but I don’t really feel I have the flair for that. And anyway, I am so narcissistic that references to my personal life creep in anyway. I rant, I link, I try to write properly once in a while, and then more linking, more ranting, and then I link some more. In the end, this is a blog I’m writing, not a magazine, and I have never had a coherent ‘theme’ to be able to classify the kind of posts I write anyway. I write about books and games, but have also wandered to feminism, photo posts, AIDS, and gloves. It sounds like the inside of my head. And maybe I should stick to that label. I’ve been doing it for years, after all. So can I only ask of ye readers, and you may drop me a line personally if you want (email/Facebook), what exactly do you come here for?1 I have a suspicion that most of ya’s are personal acquaintances just keeping up with me. Oh and thank you for visiting. If you’re lucky, the next time you visit, this will not be the post you see at the top of the page. * 1 - History repeats itself. This is not the first time I’ve requested this of my readers. |
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Thu: Nov 08 2007
"baby you’re still mine" Talk about a static page. Well, almost. But the truth is, I haven’t forgotten my blog. I haven’t run out of things to write about, things that capture my imagination or indulge my senses, or things that for emotional flaws in me or for a sense of justice infuriates me beyond reason, or things that make me love or hate, or things that simply make up your life experiences, continually shifting and shaping the person you are. A week ago I started writing a feminist rant, and was in the process of moulding it into something a bit more concrete, but life got in the way. Our Bruneian community at uni was busy last weekend, and this week, three lectures less due to ‘Reading Week’ (applicable only to one module), I still have an assignment to finish and a test to prepare for which I cannot do over this weekend. That is probably the first time I put my studies ahead, in priority, of something else I really wanted to do. Feel proud for me. I want to make something out of my third year, and to finish my degree thinking, “Okay, I screwed up the first two years, but WHOA was I on fire in the last year!” (…which is lame, and terribly optimistic.) That said, I really want to put up that post, so hope that I find some time soon to do so. I still aspire to turn this blog into something more than link dumps, more than vague thoughts, randomly tossed in together. Thank you to you people who keep coming. I know you’re out there. So, moving on to the bloggy bit, for now. First, the link: This blog post may be from a year ago, but it still echoes a lament one feels after having watched the public, personal Internet grow up in the last ten years. (I kid you not - I have been online for ten years. You don’t want to see my old websites.) I personally despise the generic WordPress template, among other things that have become the common everyday Internet experience. I miss websites with original, specific intent - that weren’t blogs. I have mentioned this once. And then the randomly dropped piece of information you may file into the space you allocated for tidbits about me, if any: I have become interested this year in the computing history. This from the girl who hated History back in lower secondary. Thank you Martin Campbell-Kelly. Till the next post. |
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Fri: May 25 2007
"final fantasy bootlegs" I just discovered that my copy of the Final Fantasy VII Original Soundtrack (or “Sound Track” as it is spelled on the front) is a bootleg
… Though technically bootlegs shouldn’t even be posted on Discogs. But anyway it’s true. There’s no copyright logo on the boxset (though it does say “WARNING: All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.“) and it is Made in Taiwan. I thought it was legit because it came with a little booklet with some of Yoshitaka Amano’s artwork (especially on the front), some screenshots from the game, illustrations of the main characters, and the tracklisting of the 4 CDs in Japanese. I guess that’s not too hard to duplicate nowadays. Also, if by the above reasoning my copy of the FF VII soundtrack has now descended to “illegal copy” world, then my copy of the first Black Mages CD is also a bootleg; no copyright information, and the supposed “Made in Taiwan” give-away - though its production quality was always a little less convincing then the FF VII soundtrack copy. I’m disappointed… If I’d wanted to buy a bootleg, then I’d have at least got one cheap, you know? But I guess compared to Asian-bought bootleg-cheap, 1/3 of the original price might be considered cheap here. Like this woman last year I was giving a presentation to, she was talking about buying illegal copies of software for like 20 GBP and my Chinese coursemate and I were like ‘no no, you can get them much cheaper where we come from’. Anyway, anyone know any good places to get original game music? UK sites preferably. Otherwise I already know of GameMusic.com and SquareSound. Not that I should be busy spending money on such things just before exam season… ;P As for the eBay auction, the seller might not realize his/her copy of the FF IX soundtrack is a bootleg. Apparently a lot of auctions for FF music, especially imports, are likely to be illegal copies. Just a warning for those of you who also like spending lots of money on similar things and would prefer to know in advance, to further consider the purchase, the legitimacy of the product. On a (not entirely) separate note. Does anyone know of any websites where you can see pictures of actual CDs (and not just the case cover) of music albums? Maybe someone should start one. XD * * * Btw I’ve watched Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. * * * Self-awareness: Do you notice I’ve put a <blockquote> in every post I’ve made lately? The photos? Less brackets? In my bid to become more reader-friendly, especially yous people nowadays who expect more things from the blogs you read. Hah. |
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Tue: Jul 25 2006
"Unreading recepients" When I find blogs featuring entries like these, I feel like all personal blogs should just be banned so everyone can and will only read blogs with different themes or writing styles. Of course, my blog would be included in said universal blacklist. Maybe I meant boring personal blogs. No no, that still doesn’t exclude me. Ah well. It’s ok people, it’s still good and all to read about your personal lives, and your witty opinions. I think I’m just feeling a tad wistful for a time when blogs weren’t the only kind of personal websites people created. Ah, you should speak you hypocrite Hazirah… So. I decided to switch to b2evolution. Except, erm, I’m not quite getting it. XS What are all these PHP files doing in my folder? Stub files? Default files? And some of these aren’t even mandatory? What do I really need then? WTH? I had half a mind to just go skulking back to b2 but I’m tired of the spam problem so I need to stick with this a while longer. Bah. It’s not like anyone can even read these yet… *dies* (before you dare comment and say, “yes I can”, check the date =P) |
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I’m sorry to keep boring you like this.
